Power dating core
Some men have decided this is unfair – despite the fact they’re causing it – and engage in games to gain power again.
It was their first meet-up and there’d been a flirty spark on both sides: the ‘quick drink’ had graduated into dinner, and even in Olly’s last-minute scramble to jump on the train home, he had leaned in for a kiss against the train’s doors. “I saw an opportunity,” he admits, somewhat cowardly.“The big ‘chess move’ in dating is how quickly you respond to messages,” explains Aaron, 27.“Contacting someone is like losing power, so no-one wants to seem eager.And 90 per cent of the time, the other person will exactly match their response speed to the time you took to reply.If a convo isn’t going anywhere, I always walk away for a day or two to get them more interested.” But while Aaron’s approach is on the tactical side, others’ are just plain dirty.“At parties, the ratio of single men to women sucks.
Male friends on Tinder don’t get many matches when they swipe indiscriminately, while female mates get whoever they want.
With the right partner, communication won’t be complicated or confused.
No cute meeting story ever began, “Well we met, then I thought he’d text me, but he didn’t, so I texted him, heard nothing…” “Most people are just hacking their way through the jungles of dating, looking for a real connection,” adds Dr Hartman.
The interfaces of Tinder, IMing and social media sites creates a Band-Aid confidence that protects us from exposing our vulnerable real selves.
Yet Dan Bacon, founder of men’s dating-advice service The Modern Man (), doesn’t believe men fear living up to the digital persona they’ve created.
David Evans, consultant to the online dating industry (), believes part of the problem is that dating apps make communication easy, but without establishing manners and protocol around it.